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Robert Charboneau's avatar

It is, as Peter said, dense. I've read it three times, and I still have a tough time following the plot. I think maybe the issue is with the narrator, who is a character in the story, a member of the community, but I'm unclear about his attitude toward events. There's layers of intellect and irony to peel back to get to it. This is by design, I think. The story is about ideas and not necessarily people, and the ideas are maybe over my head. I'm missing a skeleton key.

But that said, there are so many great turns of phrase, so many verses that sound Swiftian or Popean (I think I've called you Augustan before). Maybe the satirical tone also makes me think of them. The rhythm is propulsive, and the occasional rhymes are energetic and keep you reading.

Great lines like "Now speech like moisture gathers in the air" and "The intersection—O, that cross we bore / before direction ceased to interest us—" and, what I think is the theme of the poem,

"To yield is not to stop nor even slow,

but just to heed the right to go."

A pleasure to puzzle over your work.

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Abigail's avatar

Narrative poetry on Substack is likely the saving grace of 2025, so thank you for adding to the conversation! This is a lot of fun: tonal consistency, cognitive originality, satisfying irony. I felt like I missed a stanza because while I fully expected the supposedly obsolete traffic signal to turn out to be essential, I couldn't trace how it triggered an apocalyptic event. I went back and read the beginning of the poem to see what I had missed. Then I realized that maybe this wasn't supposed to be a folktale about one small town but a global symbol. So not just one traffic signal but all are down ? Traffic signals are no longer important because people are no longer driving? People are flying? Ultimately I wasn't able to sleuth my way to the ending. My favorite bits are the politicians doing everything to stay in power: "We must maintain our power. Yes, the sun / resists our legislation, yet we must / survey the ways in which our services / unduly drain the stores that we should save.” The fact that they are speaking to the issue means this isn't a solitary traffic signal but an important symbol. The sun is complicit! But how?

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